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Self Confidence

ericaanne

New member
I sometimes catch myself getting really down on myself about my skills and my perceived inherent value, and it can start to feel really toxic and hard to get out of. I don't feel like meditation/affirmations has done a whole lot for me-- it sometimes feels very hollow to tell myself things that I don't believe. How do you tell with building genuine confidence and dealing with chronic self doubt?
 

RalphAnthony81

New member
Well I don't think that you're alone in that department. We all get down on ourselves from time to time, and we all inherently have moments of self doubt. One thing that has truly helped me is therapy. I'm not sure if that is a resource available to you but I highly recommend it. There is something about discussing your inner most thoughts and feelings to someone that no vested interest in you that is very comforting. They have no judgments, no preconceived notions, no attachments to you whatsoever, yet talking to them might be the most liberated and honest you've ever felt. I also recommend making a T-bar or SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) for your life, which sounds lame but it will force you to be as honest and simple as possible. I'd write down everything you can think and it will be an awesome way to see what you can do well and what you can improve on. Good luck man!
 

tyleralecia

New member
I would not feel like you are alone as we al go through those tough moments in life, some more than others. Dealing with that from personal experience, I would seek out someone who I trust and talk to them about these doubts. It can be scary to be vulnerable with someone, I hate confessing my weaknesses to others for fear they'll see me as less than. But everyone is going through their own struggles and finding someone who cannot only empathize but relieve whatever pain your feeling will make your confidence go a long way because you won't feel like you are carrying the whole burden on your shoulders. Additionally, I would suggest making a list of personal goals, and tackling them one at a time. Start small then go from there. Just accomplishing a small goal will go a long way in the end to building up your confidence. Wishing you all the best!
 

Paty100

New member
I sometimes catch myself getting really down on myself about my skills and my perceived inherent value, and it can start to feel really toxic and hard to get out of. I don't feel like meditation/affirmations has done a whole lot for me-- it sometimes feels very hollow to tell myself things that I don't believe. How do you tell with building genuine confidence and dealing with chronic self doubt?
There have been numerous times where I have found myself in a position of low confidence. This is mostly due to how we humans over think things. Fear is what mostly affects people's confidence.

The best way is to do things and believe in your ability. Or you can just find someone who believes in you and your ability.

First step : believe in yourself
Second step : Don't be scared to fail or make mistakes
 

mcad4

New member
I sometimes catch myself getting really down on myself about my skills and my perceived inherent value, and it can start to feel really toxic and hard to get out of. I don't feel like meditation/affirmations has done a whole lot for me-- it sometimes feels very hollow to tell myself things that I don't believe. How do you tell with building genuine confidence and dealing with chronic self doubt?
Thank you for sharing this, I find it encouraging to see that these experiences are shared. I, myself, go through bouts of low self-confidence or self-esteem. For me, one of the most powerful things which has helped me is to be content with my weaknesses and shortcomings -- whether they be skills, emotional responses to situations, or perceived value -- not that I shouldn't work on them, but recognizing that while they are "part of me" they also don't "identify" who I am. Indeed, we each have an inherent value, but we each must figure out what it is that makes us inherently worthy, regardless of our quirks, flaws, or accomplishments (or lack of).

I agree with others that a great way to determine that is through talking with others, either with close friends, family, or counselors; while we each have our own journey, we are not meant to live life alone.
 

ericaanne

New member
Well I don't think that you're alone in that department. We all get down on ourselves from time to time, and we all inherently have moments of self doubt. One thing that has truly helped me is therapy. I'm not sure if that is a resource available to you but I highly recommend it. There is something about discussing your inner most thoughts and feelings to someone that no vested interest in you that is very comforting. They have no judgments, no preconceived notions, no attachments to you whatsoever, yet talking to them might be the most liberated and honest you've ever felt. I also recommend making a T-bar or SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) for your life, which sounds lame but it will force you to be as honest and simple as possible. I'd write down everything you can think and it will be an awesome way to see what you can do well and what you can improve on. Good luck man!
Thanks! I have done a bit of therapy over the years, and while I felt like it really did a lot for me in moments of crisis, in my daily life it hasn’t been particularly helpful. It’s fine, but an expensive and exhaustive exercise. That being said it can be really great to have a neutral and healthy way to reflect and come up with “game plans”
 

ericaanne

New member
Thank you for sharing this, I find it encouraging to see that these experiences are shared. I, myself, go through bouts of low self-confidence or self-esteem. For me, one of the most powerful things which has helped me is to be content with my weaknesses and shortcomings -- whether they be skills, emotional responses to situations, or perceived value -- not that I shouldn't work on them, but recognizing that while they are "part of me" they also don't "identify" who I am. Indeed, we each have an inherent value, but we each must figure out what it is that makes us inherently worthy, regardless of our quirks, flaws, or accomplishments (or lack of).

I agree with others that a great way to determine that is through talking with others, either with close friends, family, or counselors; while we each have our own journey, we are not meant to live life alone.
I agree, we aren’t meant to live life solitary and isolated! So great to have resources and friends to reach out to.
 

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