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Relationship "Rules"

My husband and I have a list of "rules." They aren't rules with consequences necessarily. They are rules for our relationship. For example, no one sleeps on the couch, we go to bed together as often as possible, he is allowed to take photographs of me whenever he chooses, any time or place is an opportunity to dance, and more...

The best rule is the rule where we can ask the other at any time in any location during any activity for 3 things. The three things can be anything we love or appreciate about the other. It has been transforming for us. It promotes honesty and keeps the thoughts of each other positive and growing.

What are some things or rules or techniques that make your relationships happy and healthy?


New member
My husband and I make a point not to raises our voices at each other. That’s not to say we don’t argue – all couples do. But, it’s important to us that we don’t allow our disagreements to escalate to the point of yelling or screaming. By staying in control, we’re able to hear one another; to still have a conversation. Talking things through helps us get to the bottom of whatever is bothering us and work things out – more quickly than if we stomped around or stormed out.


New member
I love your idea for the three things about each other! That is a great way to always continue to grow the love in your relationship.


New member
The 'Wife/Husband Card':

The power of 'the card' can only be used once a month, but it's a hands down no argument agreement to the request the other person is making. We rarely use them, but we both know that when the other person 'does throw down a card' it means that this situation is very serious for them, and that the outcome is -that- important to them.


New member
We've made an effort to use statements like "when you say x, it makes me feel y" or "when you say x, what I'm hearing is y." It helps us slow down and see the other person's perspective, which can be difficult, especially if you're in the middle of an argument.


New member
These are all really good ideas! My partner and I are considering getting married in the next couple of years, and I know that some practical rules will really help us, in the long run.