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    Team Neuroskillz

How do you respond to failure?


New member
The new issue of Harvard Business Review has an article that started me thinking:

What do you do when you fail at work?

In the article, the author writes that most people have one of two reactions: 1) get defensive, or 2) beat oneself up. She suggests that the third (and preferred) way of dealing with failure is self-compassion - responding to our failures with compassion and understanding, in the same way that we would typically respond if a friend messed up. Here is the link to the article if you'd like to read it: https://hbr.org/2018/09/give-yourself-a-break-the-power-of-self-compassion


New member
Accept how you feel, acceptance is the first step, also remember you're not a failure just because you have setbacks
Be constructive and learn from this situation, anyone who wants to do things of value in life will surely fail at some point.
Find inspiration and support from your world.


New member
God... Not well, at least not in the past. It's always been hard for me to take that hit.

Here's the thing, though... Failure... should be the goal. Within reason, and I'm mostly talking about new experiences. You have to fail to Get Gud.


New member
I loved Anthony Bourdain. In light of his passing, I've been perusing the internet for some of his best quotes and stumbled upon this gem. It might be pertinent to your question:

"Don't lie about it. You made a mistake. Admit it and move on. Just don't do it again. Ever."

In other words, take ownership of your failures and learn from them. Hold yourself to standards, but realize that it's not the end of the world if you fail to live up to them once in a while.


New member
Nobody is perfect. We are works in progress and we never stop editing our lives. To use a metaphor, a paper is never finished, it is only improved upon. Failures are just mistakes in a paper that need to be corrected.


New member
I definitely think that it's useful to consider failure a step. Perhaps it wasn't a step in the right direction, certainly, but overcoming that initial friction is infinitely more difficult than correcting your path once in motion. In other words, it definitely beats standing still and that might be a very useful frame of reference when thinking about your decision because I think a lot of people consider failure/success as an either/or as opposed to a process. I think Arnold Schwarzenegger said it well here: "Don't be afraid to fail...You can't always win, but don't be afraid of making decisions."


New member
I do not take failure very well. I am my worst critic, and I always expect alot from myself. When I fail, I go over what the assignment was, what I had done, and what I could have done better in order to not fail. This helps me during the next time.